| Subject: |
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Libertarian Party Strategy for Ending the Bombing of Iran |
| Name: |
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David Tomlin |
| Date Posted: |
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Apr 13, 06 - 6:30 AM |
| Website: |
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http://www.libertarians4peace.net |
| Message: |
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I'm thinking that, when the bombing of Iran begins, the Libertarian Party should be ready with its strategy for gradually winding down the bombing. I offer a first draft:
Regardless of an indvidual's stance on the decision to begin bombing Iran, it is now clear that there is no end in sight to the apocalyptic violence now engulfing the entire Middle East.
Several hours into the American bombing of Iran, it has become evident that there is no military solution that will bring the Iranians to embrace Jesus as their lord and savior, and make them start calling God by his correct English name and not that silly old Arabic word. The Libertarian Party, along with supporting organizations and individuals, proposes this strategy for winding down the bombing of Iran, for the benefit of members of the armed forces, their families, and all the people, puppies, and kittens of Iran.
The first step is immediately to begin reducing the number of sorties flown by American aircraft against Iran. Of course, 'immediately' doesn't mean NOW, or even anytime soon. After the government decides to adopt The Libertarian Party Strategy For Winding Down The Bombing Of Iran (TM), the reductions will begin, immediately, after that. That will probably be after Hillary gets elected to her second term, because, we all know her heart is in the right place, but no one could expect her to risk her re-election by looking soft, and breaking all her bloodthirsty campaign promises. And we'll probably also want to wait until after Ariel Sharon wakes up from his coma and gives his approval, because no one wants to leave him out. So, after that, the reductions will begin. Immediately. After that.
Currently the U.S. is flying one hundred and twenty sorties a day against Iran. When The Libertarian Party Strategy For Winding Down The Bombing Of Iran (TM) begins to be implemented, at some unknown point in the remote future, the number of sorties will begin to be reduced gradually. Beginning immediately. After that.
The number of daily sorties will be reduced by ten each month, resulting in a complete cessation of bombing in one year's time. Allowing a year for the reduction will give the Iranian government time to train enough flight crews to take over the bombing of their own country.
As the bombing of Iraq is phased out, the aircraft will be redeployed to bomb other countries in the Middle East. Eventually they will fly at least twenty sorties per day over Afghanistan (which isn't in the
Middle East, but never mind). They will bomb anyone with an enemy smart enough to accuse them of being al Qaida, or Taliban, or looking cross-eyed at an American flag.
After the reduction in bombing begins, a direct-aid program will begin funneling hard-earned U.S. taxpayer dollars directly into the Swiss bank accounts of the Iranian mullahs.
Safeguards will be put in place to convince the most gullible American taxpayers that the money is making the world a safer place for our children, puppies, and kittens.
Our flight crews have completed their missions. They have ensured that for at least another decade, Israel will be the only Middle Eastern country with a stockpile of nuclear weapons.
Further bombing can serve no purpose but to slaughter innocents, impoverish the survivors, and inflame more hatred, violence, and terrorism in the region and beyond. That is why the Libertarian Party demands that at some indefinite time in the remote future, the intensity of the bombing will begin to be gradually reduced over a one-year period. |
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