Hi im stewart an alcoholic,
I came to AA at 24 thinking i was too young to be an alcoholic and if i was looking for an excuse to keep on drinking then i found it at my first meeting,i walked in and i thought everyone was old,perfect excuse to have another drink.The guy that took me said to me after the meeting what did you think of that then i said "it was ok but im going to go to the bar and have a few vodkas to think about wether i was an alcoholic or not" and thats what i did.
Things got worse for me after that i was telling myself i wasnt that bad,see if i get as bad as him ill stop drinking or i wont drink that ill drink this,if i wasnt with them i would have been ok.
I came back to AA at 25 totally beat but still wondered if i was an alcoholic but i went and it was my dad that took me he sat me down the front of the meeting so i would try and listen and i did i heard if you dont lift the first drink you cant get drunk and that made sense to me as i know now that when i took that first drink it set up a craving for another 1 and with every drink the craving got worse and thats i would end up drunk with taking that first drink i had no choice on staying sober or what my actions would be,i also heard get to many meetings,many meetings would make it easier not easy few meetings would make it hard and know meetings would make it virtualy impossible for me to stay sober and i believed that.
I joined a group and helped set the room up or i would make the teas and coffees or be at the door greeting people in because you see if it wasnt for the welcome i got the handshakes and the hugs i dont know if i would have stayed.
But i kept coming back and i got better day by day and i was no longer alone didnt have that feeling when sitting in a crowded bar and still feeling the lonliest person there i had found fellowship in AA.
I am a father,son,brother,husband and even a friend now.I came to AA to stop drinking now i come to stay stopped and to help with that stinking thinking.I once heard someone say you are only as sick as your secrets and i didnt know what he meant and i didnt even think to ask him then one day the penny dropped and what he meant was if you have a problem and you keep it to yourself that problem in your head will get bigger and bigger and before you know it anger and resentment and that could end up in a drink so for me not to be as sick as my secrets i share it wether it be from the room of AA or one to one.
I know today by going to meetings it doesnt matter what age you are or where you come from or your background as alcoholism dosent care about those things .
One of the things i used to hate people saying to me in the rooms was i wish i had got it at your age,i thought what do they know,i know now i didnt do as much damage as some of them and that my kids didnt suffer as much either but what they really meant was i could still help these kids grow up and be part of that experience and not missing out on them growing up and it has been great seeing them growing up sometimes its been hard but worthwhile.

IM 36 now and 10 years sober and i wouldnt change it for anything .

Wee Stewart
Bonhill thursday afternoon group(2pm)
Alexandria

Hi Stewart; Hope all is well with you - and thank you for the privilege of letting me read a fisr class message that has so many parallels to my own journey from being a hopeless drunk - completely at the mercy of the bottle - to being, these days, a dry drunk of 12 years sobriety.
My story began in a small will age in West Cork - where I discovered the "magical" (!!) effects of the booze and from the local pub from where the landlord would serve a 14 year old kid from the back door, along with the other members of the "gang".
The journey then continued through Uni in Ulster and in situations where, totally rat-faced, I would pull stunts that only my God kept me attached to my kneecaps!
It continues to be a journey - sometimes up and down - but at least a sober one, nonetheless; made possible for me simply by being able to be around "fellow travellers" like yourself.
Thanks again for your share.
take Care
Col.