Blessings from the heart of the work. Sacha Runa presents this intimate forum for those who have or are considering participating in the month-long Intensive Shamanic Training. Feel free to leave contact information, speak your truth, and open to the fullest potential of this growing Shamanic community. Namaste.
sorry , looks like my message was too big , it got truncated . here's the second part ...
by the way , this was meant to just be a personal summary , it wasn't really written to be published in a forum . i thoght aboyt editing it a little ... but then left it just as it was .
successively , the dark hole became less dark and started to grow over with light green webbing . at the end , it was quite well protected , a little weaker than the rest of my aura but pretty comfortable now .
Then there were repeated and prolonged states of just blissful universal love and a presence of god in my heart , which had been going on a lot lately anyhow but not for hours at a time … almost soppy religious sentiments , very bhakti-esque . almost catholic, actually . I didn’t really get sick anymore , the vine stayed with me all night , didn’t let me sleep but sorted things out . I have drunk only few times in my life but learned to really trust her , let myself fall into her lap . she’s my mother .
But the longdance , no . certainly not . I was sure of it . a full lunar eclipse , in leo … conjunct saturn and ketu , no way . ( purva pahlguni is in leo , saturn had retrograded out back into magha but was still in leo , a saturn- ketu conjunction ( which also occurs in my natal chart ) is called preta bhadak , obstacles by ( certain ) evil spirits ) … this type of thing is actually considered dangerous . I had just in 2006 experienced some pretty nasty states of possession , during one of which I incurred my pretty little parasite … no thank you I won’t **** myself up again .
Well , it was amazing . I do wonder a little because I turned into a tobacco smoker , it was a slight bit of a reprogramming venture . a good night to review contracts , and sign new ones ... it was an initiation of sorts , or potentially just the rurre-initiation perpetuating itself … what do I know .
I do know that for the first time , bad energy moved through me which wasn’t actually mine , as far as its possible to assign ownership for this kind of thing . the eclipse , as expected , wasn’t the most easy thing energetically but it was just one more thing to move through . the protection was strong , maybe I had momentary doubts once or twice but the presence of positive and powerfully protective energies was very obvious . outside of the circle I got a little scared once but it was easy to just go back in and postpone my ( futile ) attempts at urination …
And there was a vision . I’ll try putting it into words once more , it’s not something which has really been all that successful in the past . so , god is present in me , in everyone for that matter . god is in my heart , and this presence has become stronger and stronger over the years , the understanding of it clearer . I can sit now and just be blissed out with that presence in my heart … like a little buddha . but there is something missing here .
Because god needs to do stuff . and if I can let go of my ego , my personal judgements and doubts and motives and all that , god can do it through me . and , important , it’s not about ME … because there’s multitudes of people who do that , or maybe better , let it be done . and they’re all connected . it’s like a giant brother-sisterhood , like a counter-conspiracy against all destructive forces and dark energies which still are very strong on this planet … but the balance is shifting . that THING is god . everyone can partake in it , everybody , in fact , is strongly urged to partake in it … to some degree and extent , at least , but ideally completely . through renunciation of personal identification , motives , agendas , a complete merger with that THING is possible . I called it THE GREEN THING because that’s what it sort of looked like . all we need to do is to entirely let go of all blocks and fears , clean our hearts to the utmost ,and … serve . let energy flow , enable enrgy to flow , facilitate that flow , whatever , just do what’s best in any given situation without really thinking or judging or WANTING . and surely , there is no need to want , god takes care of all its parts . this realiztion made my heart overflow with love and trust and the wish to GIVE . not the need to give or the compulsion out of whichever personal story , more a clearing of obstacles so giving can give itself . it was self-less ,and surely it hasn’t been possible to transpose it all into my everyday life but there IS a resonance which I know will never again leave me .
So that’s an entirely different picture of union with god than the one painted in the hindu thing I work with so much , where the ideal oftentimes seems to be to just quietly in the corner merge with god and sort of liberate out of existence . even the whole bodhisattva story has a distincly different flavour than the THING I saw , this incredible interconnected organism of embodied and exbodied souls … angels and artists and