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La Larga Danza - my experience part 2

The only thing i could do was stand there, with my arms spread out like flying, my face towards the sky and an intense happiness filled me. Every cell in my body felt alive and filled with this beautiful energy from the sky. I surrendered to this feeling, stood there with my arms spread out, laughing and astounished by all this beauty and happiness inside my chest and my whole being.

After a while, i dont know how much time, because time didnt exist, I went back to the fire and walked and danced to the music. Then the shaman told us to sit down around the fire. We sang some songs and then we stood up again and changed the direction of dancing, now in a movement upwards (to the left), which symbolized the new start of the year, all the hopes, wishes, all the good things. I remember being still so happy and surprised by all the beauty around me, of the people, the fire, the music. While walking in the stream of dancing people, every time i passed my flag, I stood still, touched it, read the words, looked at the symbols, which were as well pulsating and filled with the fluoresent lights. And i felt so good, these intentions, these words, these symbols were just so perfect, they were filled with good and powerful energy and the were already a part of me. I did not feel ashamed or afraid about the bad things i wanted to leave behind, because i realized that they were needed to experience things to learn from, and even this dark parts of me I loved and apreciated so much.

Then the moon disappeared behind the mountain, with every circle i made around the fire i had to let go a little bit of her light and the connexion I felt between her and me. When she finally totally disappeared i felt and intens lonelyness I cannot describe. For a single moment i felt that i could not go on, but then i found somewhere in my soul the strength to continue walking and dancing, floating on the movement of the other people, which was dragging me into the circleling wave. This was the darkest and coldest part of the night and I never longed so much for daylight.

When this feeling of lonelyness disappeared and i realized that a new day was about to come i started to see and feel things about things i have done and places i have been before i was here in this life. I saw and felt who i was before, i felt the essence of my being and i felt and saw some flashes of the lives i lived. This were for me some missing parts of the puzzle i always had to figure out with my eyes closed but now somebody lifted the blindfold before my eyes for some seconds and i could finally see it. I felt so incredibly old inside and so gratefull for everything i have ever lived. I felt so strong, so worhtful, so beautiful and wise inside, i could cry. I realized that in this life i have to continue with making my soul richer and wiser and never let go of all the things i once learned.

When the stars started to disappear and the sky started to lighten up somebody took one of the long flutes and started playing it. The sound was so beautiful, i took another flute and more people started to play the flutes. So we welcomed the morning-glow in the sky.

When the sun was about to rise i left the circle and went to a little hill nearby. Watching all the changes in nature just before the sunrise, the birds, the wind, the warmth, from the bottom of my heart, a poem was born. That was just how it felt, that the poem was born, it felt like i went through a rebirth after the dark and cold night, with all the emotions and visions. I started to recite the poem over and over again, it was just perfect, the words were perfect, i recited it with my whole being. And when the first sunbeams came looking over the mountain and touched my face, i didnt stop reciting the poem, unless the tears were running down my face. It was one of the most intens and beautiful things i have ever experienced.

After this i laid down in the sun and fell asleep. When i woke up, there were still some visual effects in how i saw the the world around me. I went to the empty circle, where some people were sleeping, got my guitar and started playing for the Illimani and the valley. After that i went back to my little hill and fell asleep again. I slept very long, the other people already entered in the Temazcal and returned to the circle to share our experiences. I heard them shouting my name and went to the circle. I totally didnt feel like talking, words were just not enough to explain anything and they felt so irrelevant to me. So i sat down and only smiled to all these people i shared this night with, all of them with their own dance, their own soul, their own path. When it was my turn to speak, i tried to explain the best i could. With some people who told their experience i felt a huge connection. I was surprised by the fact that some people had a really difficult time that night because i felt so happy and so free. (see part 3)