The swan was a ******* **** anyway, they're ******* vicious *******s. You wouldn't care if it was a small floating car full of chips. What a ******* pompous ****** You probably want to see wolves roaming around the town centre. If I see the swan I'll kill it, then ring you and tell you. It would be nice to see remote control boats in the river, with torpedoes to shoot the ducks. Norton doesn't need a swan to improve it, it needs to be bulldozed into a giant mound of rubble, and I hope the ******* swan gets buried under it.

Also sort your ******* spelling out. Nortoners is spelt with an 'S' not a ******* 'Z'. ****ting crikey. Where's your self re-cocking-spect? And people from outside Norton are superior because Norton is ****, I should know I grew up there but I had the ******* brains to leave it, you stupid parochial twat.

Wolvez would be excellent.

I don't know, even a bit of swan-based rage and personal abuse can't seem to get everyone posting again.

Are we too nice to animals? There is footage of a bus full of flies being sent on holiday to Africa, but should they?

Learn some self-cocking respect, you yellow bentine feind

I heard that a woman made her dog look like me. Sick, just sick. As for swans, I'll cut off the legs of the next one I see, then we'll se who can break who's arm. ****ers

Did Queen Victoria give birth to a hairy mandrill when prince charles boasted of his experience to lose his virginity to a fray bentos pie?